Top 10 Reasons I Hate My Life

10. Cigarettes kill.
9. Fruits and vegetables do not kill.
8. My former girlfriend just got engaged. Not to me.
7. I'm unemployed.
6. The two windows in my studio face a brick wall.
5. I'm not dating anyone.
4. I love watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette.
3. I had an opportunity to go travel in Argentina, but (see # 7).
2. My youngest brother's salary is more than 5 times what I used to make.
1. I do not own a gun.