Adventures in Fine Dining....
So I finely mananged to drag myself off the couch and went to the grocery store today. I'm actually trying to be sensible about all this unemployment stuff, so in addition to all the essentials like Captain Crunch (which they should re-name "Captain Sugar"), I loaded up on cans of tuna, the poor man's lobster! Which remind me of a work dinner I had to go to last year with my former boss and a client. Now, let me preface this by saying, I am in no way a vegetarian. In fact, I'm more of a meatatarian. However, if anybody from PETA happens to be reading this, I promise, I'll never eat this again....ever. EVER!
So, as I was saying, my former boss, a client who will go unmentioned, and myself, are eating at this high-end, ridiculously expensive Japanese restaurant where they're known for their sushi. I love sushi. I do. I know that sounds like such a yuppie nightmare, but I can't help it. I can't get enough of the stuff. Now, I can see that my boss, who is trying really, really hard to impress this client, is probably silently debating whether to order this guy a hooker for the appetizer in order to close the deal. However, sanity seems to prevail when he tells our waiter that we'd like to let the chef create his best dish for us, spare no expense! (That'll impress him!) So of course, our waiter gets very excited and says that he will be bringing us his specialty sushi and it's very, very fresh. My boss looks pleased as punch and the waiter keeps saying, "yes, VERY fresh! FRESH!" Great, great, great....
Fast forward to the meal and we're served this lobster sushi (I can't remember the exact name of it) and it's delicious. It's served almost like cooked lobster, entirely whole, but raw with it cut open right down the back of the shell. Now, I'm not kidding when I say it's whole. It's got claws, head, tail and the antennae are all still intact, but it's outrageously good. That is, until I notice that my lobster appears to be foaming at the mouth or blowing bubbles. Hmmmm.....so I take a closer look and yes, the little guy IS blowing bubbles! In fact, the poor guy is STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!! Oh God! Is he in pain?!?? Does he feel this?! Can I PLEASE get some more butter?!?!?!
Yeah, I finished it. It's a freakin' lobster.
